Valentine's Day 2021| PSA| TAKEN OR NOT TAKEN?

On writing/being a writer

Writers don't talk about writing. Writers don't contract out their work to others. Writers WRITE. I am being told not to 'put my pen down', go ahead and 'write something', and I keep drawing a blank. I guess you could say I am dealing with writer's block. Truth is, I don't have the headspace for writing right now, at least that is what I thought till I started writing, then I remembered just how cathartic writing is for me and how happy it makes me feel to recount an experience or encounter.... I am still unsure which way this will go eventually, but I figured I would take this one step today, and see what tomorrow/the coming days bring. Can I just say that I am excited!!!

Part 3: The Whipps Cross experience.

On arrival at (Whipp's Cross) hospital, I was taken in to A&E. From then on things, just seemed to be happening so fast, but I remember feeling cold. So cold, that I was shivering all over, so the nurse gave me a 'warm blanket' It looked more like aluminium foil than a blanket and I msut have made a comment about it because she started explaining how it works. I can't say I remember much of what she said though. The consultant came at some point, and told me I had sustained a clean break in the humerus, and a fracture in my ankle joint. He said I would be in plaster for about 12 weeks for he fracture in the ankle, and though the break in the humerus was bad, it was treatable. In plain English, my upper arm was broken just below the shoulder, above my elbow. He said I will have to undergo surgery to have a piece of bone extracted from my hip, and screwed into place with bolts to conjoin the two pieces of broken bone in my arm. Okay, I thought, but will I ever walk again after having bone extracted from my hip, I thought. So I asked him, and he said yes, the fracture will heal after being plastered for a couple of weeks, so will my hip. Then, his actual words sank in: 12 weeks. That was 3 months from the day. In other words, I'll be in plaster until the new year. I was sad, very sad indeed. Just that afternoon, I'd made enquiries about flights to New York City, where I intended to spend the Christmas and New Year break. I'd never been to NYC before, and this was meant to be a trip of a lifetime!

The consultant went his way, and my Mum, brother and sister came in with my Uncle. He had driven all the way from Chelmsford to London as soon as he heard I'd had an accident, and all I could think was oh my, what trouble was I putting everyone through? They all looked pretty tired, but also very relieved. Unfortunately, due to the neck brace I had on, I could only see whoever was right in front of my face as I lay on the stretcher. A nurse came round and sent them all home. She also informed us that I would be transferred to a ward as soon as a bed was free, and they had no choice but to leave without knowing exactly where I would be the following morning. It was too late to get Xrays done, so I had to stay in the neck brace until the following morning, just in case there were injuries to my spinal cord. Needless to say, I spent the night on that stretcher. No room was free, or nobody remembered, or came to get me, whatever the reason was, I was left on the stretcher in a corner of A&E overnight.

I woke up the next day with a serious allover body ache! My chest felt heavy, my foot hurt, and my arm was aching from somewhere outside of my body. I told the nurse, and the doctor as they did their rounds. My Mum and sister came round and were making all the necessary phone calls to inform my job, friends, teachers, etc and my Mum also tried to make the A&E cubicle as homely as possible for me. Up until that moment, I didn't know what had actually happened. During one of the phonecalls I overheard my sister saying she looked back and saw me up in the air, and came running back. I figured because the car was coming at a high speed, the impact sent me flying and I landed on my left side, thereby fracturing my arm, and when I rolled over on landind, I scraped my forehead. I still don't quite understand how I broke my right ankle joint, or lost my boot on that foot. All I could think at that moment was WOW! GOd is good! NOw I could put the consultant's shock/surprise into perspective. He was shocked I was alive, and actually quite taken aback by the fact that I had not lost consciousness through the whole experience. At that moment, I began to praise God. I thanked Him that I was fully aware of my surroundings throughout, because otherwise medical science could/would have given up on me. Soon after, my Mum had to leave for work. As soon as she left, my cousin -who also happens to be a trained medical doctor- arrived, and my, was I glad to see her! Then my sister left for Uni, and I was left alone with my cousin. By now, I was feeling unbearable pain all over and I informed the nurse, who chose to ignore me. Then my cousin -who is otherwise shy, reserved and softspoken- went over to inform the nurse again, asking if it wasn't obvious enough that I was in pain and needed medication, and after about an hour, by which time I was in tears, he brought me some painkillers. By now, my 'lunch date' had arrived -my film producer friend- and he was beyond words. Instead of having the lunch he had made me promise to buy him, he was standing beside me on a hospital stretcher and completely lost for words. Had I had the strength, I would have continued the discussion from the night before with my cousin, and I was more than ready to still have that lunch date, stretcher, painkiller, tears and all... Sometime in the afternoon, I was transferred to Sycamore (yellow zone) ward. There were not enough pillows on that ward to keep my foot elevated!!! My cousin also left and I fell asleep, sleeping like a log. I became aware of how the next 12 weeks would be. No amount of previous conversations could have possibly prepared me for the following 12 weeks.

My Aunt, cousin, Mum, sister and and a couple of friends came to visit that evening. What a joy it was to see familiar faces. Mum helped with cleaning/freshening up, and everyone left for the night. I then drifted in and out of sleep till daybreak. The hours just passed, and I was grateful for the load ( and I literaly mean load) of fruits my Mum and Aunt had brought the night before. I couldn't stand the sight of the hospital food, talkless of eating it. When I needed to ease myself, I pressed the buzzer on my bedside remote -as you are supposed to- for the nurse's attention. Well, nobody came! I just kept buzzing till someone appeared, and when I told her what I needed, she went in search of a bedpan. Before she went off, she took a look at my buzzer, and asked my why I had switched it off. I told her I did no such thing, and she switched it back on before walking off. Whiche ver way my buzzer ended up being turned off, it sure wasn't fun to know someone, and a medical personnel at that, would thinnk of doing such a thing, but to go on and actually do it? That was just appalling to hear/experience!! There was an old lady on the other side of the room, in the corner by the wall who refused to sleep. She seemed to be in pain and was moaning about it. She kept talking to herself and no one in particular, pressing her buzzer repeatedly and generally attempting to get out of the bed. At some point, she finally succeeded and shrieked. Then of course, the night nurse came running, rebuked her and put her back in bed, then wheeled her, bed and all, out of the ward to God knows where.

The next day (Oct 23rd) was not that much different from the day before. The nurses came in to clean/freshen us up, change the bedspreads, and breakfast/lunch/dinner was served. None of which I touched - thanks to Mum and Aunty's load of fruits, I really wasn't lacking in the food department! I was taken for Xrays and the consultant actually twisted my arm back into shape, although the area was swollen and it sure was painful, but he said that was to ensure the bones fused at a regular, more natural angle, and then a brace was placed on it, and a sling was placed around my neck. More friends came round that evening, and as soon as they all left that night, the night nurse told me that my friends were tall and scary, and their presence made the other patients nervous. Also, the sound of their laughter was none other than noise nuisance and I should tell them not to come again. She said the only visitors allowed are family, and only two people at a time. What a foul way to end what had been such a lovely evening. Right there and then, I decided I was leaving the hospital come day break. I could not possible take one more day of such ill treatment at the hands of the staff. Earlier on that day, I'd heard through other patients, that the old lady across from me passed away during the night. Whether it was due to natural causes, or negligence on the part of the staff, no one was sure. The fact of the matter is, she looked well and healthy enough before being wheeled off the night before. To hear she was no longer with us, was quite alarming. I wished my Mum, or some other member of my family was around. I would have made them go and find the consultant and make him discharge me right away!!!!!

The next morning (the 24th of Oct) the consultant informed me that I was young and strong - like I didn't already know - and also quite healthy, making surgery on my arm unnecessary. The break would be left to heal naturally under the brace. I mentioned that I would very much like to go home, as soon as possible thank you very much! As soon as he left, the physiotherapist came with a crutch and showed me how to hop on one foot with the help of the one crutch. He told me I could leave anytime, as long as a family member was there to pick me up. I didn't need to be told twice. God definitely answers prayers, and I was particularly grateful for this answered prayer. I called my Uncle and my Mum, and told them I was ready to come home. My Uncle came to get me and off we went!

Back home, I relaxed and finally started to mentally wind down as well. With one hand in a brace and a foot in plaster, sleep was definitely not an easy task. I spent that night on the sofa, propped up with pillows on all sides. What a sight I must have been for sore eyes! I realized I had been sen home with a tonne medication. A pill to keep the stomach lined and prevent ulcerations which I had to take every morning. Paracetamol and Co proxamol which I had to take every 4 hours, and Senokot against congestions. I felt so sorry for myself. Poor me, who prefers injections was forced to take pills. The first few days at home are a blur. The medication kept me on a constant high, and I drifted in and out of sleep. I was glad to be back home though, even though it had taken me 3 days to finally get there.

Part 2

Next thing I see is black tar... Then I realized I was lying on the ground! I mean, I was lying on the cold, hard, road and a crowd had gathered around me. I remember in particular, a lady with a headwrap telling me 'this is the hand of God, you know?' Just thank God; and another lady holding my right hand, kept squeezing it and talking to me, making sure I was responding/responsive. Then the lady with the headwrap squeezed my left hand and I felt a pain throughout my body. The thing is, I was lying on my left side, and could feel a horrible pain in my right foot. Also, my boot was missing from that foot, so I was freezing. I tried to turn and lay on my back, but both ladies told me not to. My left arm was aching so badly though, and I tried to point that out to them by nodding in that direction. As I looked at the hand, seeing the angle it was positioned in, I knew it was broken. I didn't know how, or if indeed it was still a part of my body, but I KNEW it was broken because I moved my elbow, and the hand just lay still. I felt some kind of friction, like something was moving back and forth in my uooer arm, but other than that, my left arm just lay still on the floor, in a funny right angle to my body.

Meanwhile, my poor sister was in tears, and frantically making calls home. Someone called for an ambulance, and a kind gentleman took off his jacket and covered my by now shivering body. I suddenly felt a trickle down my nose, and asked for some tissue, blew my nose and came away with a bloddied tissue. It was at this moment that it fnally dawned on me that I had been hit by a car! I've heard numerous stories of people losing their lives in car accidents, and it seemed so odd that I would become of 'those people'. I also realized I couldn't breathe properly. I felt as if a heavy weight had been placed on my chest and each time I inhaled, I felt a sharp pain in my chest area. I really thought I was going to die that night. I thought it was time for me to go home, leave this earth, end my sojourn here. I began to ask God for forgiveness of sins, and I thanked Him for sparing my sister's life. I also prayed that He would comfort, guide and protect the rest of my family in their time of mourning my demise. Suddenly, I was glad it was me, and just me that was affected. I was glad that my sister was left unscathed and my family would not bear a double loss. Most of all, I was glad because I was at peace with God. I had made my peace with Him months before, and if He had decided to call me home to Himself on that 21st day of October 2002, I would have gone gladly. By now the crowd had increased and I could not see my sister anymore. I could still hear her crying though, so I asked the lady holding my right hand to tell her to come closer, where I could see her, and she did. Shortly after that, the ambulance arrived.

By now, I was bored with lying still and started singing a little song that came into my head at that moment. It was a very simple song, which says: 'You are worthy to be praised, amen; Almighty God, you are worthy to be praised, amen... More of an interlude actually, but that is what came to my mind, and I sang it over and over again. I was lifted (with difficulty, as the ambilance crew could not tell whether or not I had a spinal cord injury/injuries, ribcage injuries, internal bleeding, etc, and in excruciating pain) off the cold floor into the ambulance. The police arrived and were asking questions, trying to get witness statements. The nurse placed a mask over my face so I could get some oxygen, and she kept telling me to inhale. I was still singing. She then brought out a pair of scissors, and I begged her not to ruin my trousers because they were only a week old, and she promised not to. She had to cut open my socks, as well as the arm of my jacket. I didn't mind the socks so much, but the jacket... I had had it since School days, and it was one of the more expensive, cutesy types. The police questioned my sister, who wouldn't leave my side and I for my part, could not stop singing. The nurse asked my sister what I was doing, and she told her I was singing a Church song. She told my sister not to worry, I would be alright, afterall I was singing my heart out. The nurse insturcted me to inhale again, this time counting one to ten, but backward. I did, and I felt so lightheaded. The nurse asked if I was a drinker, she said it would feel a bit like that, and I told her I don't drink, so she said I should not worry, just inhale and count. I did. I could tell there were people around me, and I could hear their voices, but they all seemed/sounded so far away. Then I remember the sound of the siren, and the ambulance taking odd. I don't remember much of the ride to the hospital, the next conscious memory I have, is of arriving at the hospital.

Part 1

On the 21st of October 2002, like every other Monday, I caught the bus to work at 9.00am, walked the distance from the bus stop to my workplace and did my bit for the day. Later on, at about 18.00hrs, we were to have an executive meeting. Monday evenings being committed to Maashufa classes (which I was taking with my sister) from 19.00hrs onwards, I sent my apologies. Somehow or the other, I found myself tied to my desk till 17.45hrs and actually welcomed a few of my colleagues who had arrived early for the executive meeting. At about 18.10hours, I finally managed to wrestle myself away from my desk, and left for my class. Needless to say I had missed my connecting train, so I hopped on the bus to the nearest tube station: big mistake! From that point onwards, I missed every single connection, and finally arrived at about 20.30hrs. By this time, I had been on the phone with my cousin for about half an hour. She recently got married, and we were talking about the state of singleness, in particular whether it was really possible to keep the marriage bed undefiled in this day and age of instant gratification and over-stimulation of all possible senses through the media. I was adamant that it was possible –being my lived experience- and she did not quite agree with me. The discussion was not concluded, as we had to cut our conversation short when her husband arrived home from work.

I then received a call from a friend in the film business. He needed someone to build some sort of miniature set for a blow-up sequence in his movie. Luckily, I know 2(!) architecture students and immediately called them both. Knowing I had quite a full day ahead of me on Tuesday, I decided to ‘sacrifice’ my lunch break to facilitate a meeting between my architects in waiting and my movie mogul to be. This was of course based on the premise that both students would be free at that time. I was more than fashionably late, and did not bother to join my class. Instead, I made a couple of calls, and the lunch date was fixed for the next day. I ran through my tasks for the next day in my head: there were the minutes of the last mentoring meeting which I had typed up fully, well, save for the last paragraph, as I was waiting for THAT inspiration on how to end it, and the usual meetings with clients. Not such a hectic day after all, just a regular day in the life of an upbeat young woman like me. I must tell you, I LOVED my job. I really did. I love being useful to others, I love seeing people succeed, and I sure love to help people solve whatever problems they might be facing. My reward at the end of each day, is the knowledge that someone had a problem LESS at the end of that day, because I was able to be there for them. There is nothing more fulfilling than that. I believe that THAT is what I was placed here for – to BRING JOY to everyone I encounter.

The classes ended, my sister came out, and together with a couple of friends and classmates going the same way, we made our way home. This must have been around 22:00hrs. The walk to the train station from our venue was a long one, and the wait for the train almost as long. The ride from the train station to the tube station was not as long, and we laughed and joked with friends all the way. As we came out of the tube station at Walthamstow Central holding hands – I don’t know why, but when walking with my sister, I always tend to link hands with her. It may be leftover from childhood days, when her arms and legs were considerably shorter than mine, and the only way to guarantee she keeps up, is to hold her close... Funny thing is that we are now about the same height, and her legs are definitely longer than mine, but I just can’t help reaching out and holding hands when walking side by side- we saw the bus that would take us right up to our doorstep. All I could think of was ‘RUN! For the bus’!!! In about half an hour, we would be home; I would have my hot beverage and sleep like a log till Tuesday morning. I was just so happy that the bus had arrived on time. My sister was probably thinking similar thoughts, and we both headed for the bus, still holding hands. The traffic light was indicating red, so we had to –impatiently, I must say- wait with other pedestrians for the lights to change. As soon as it did, in that same split second we attempted to dash off to the bus, my sister let go of my hand, I in turn held on tight to my backpack and gathered all my strength, to launch a race for that bus…

Next thing, I heard a crunching sound, though I was not quite sure we it had come from. Then I heard a screeching sound, like that of a car, and felt a slight headache coming on. I felt like I had just been spun around, and I felt a blunt object being shoved into my back area, I actually heard the contact between my back area and the object, like I had been shoved slightly, and could not quite make out why I was not on the bus yet. I then heard my sister scream my name, and the screeching sound slowly subsided, as if moving further away from me.

Talent and Success

They say your talent will open doors for you, it will make a way for you and take you places. A wise man once said that your talent is that one thing that you could do, without getting any form of reward for it, and be happy, and content, and glad you are alive and doing it. It made me think. It made me wonder what my talent was, end to go even further and wonder if my talent could 'make a way' for me.

The one thing I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I know how to do, is connecting people. I have a flair for networking, I have a passion for bringing like minded individuals to the table and watching them share/exchange and tap into each others energies and grow. I love to watch people fulfil their potential and grow and mature and go out and touch other people's lives and help them grow and mature and reach their full potential. So, half of my work was done. I knew what my talent was, right? Now, how do I make it work FOR me? How do I make a living from introducing people to each other? It's not possible to make a career out of that, or IS IT? I wonder...

So I sit and wonder and ask myself, can one really be a professional 'middle man' or woman as the case may be. Could I seriously walk up to someone and introduce myself as a 'networking agent'??? Doesn't it sound ridiculous? Would it not come across as something made up, just so I have a tag in front of my name, something to call myself? Where on earth do people who want to meet other people go to find someone that could potentially introduce them? People who were serious about making professional contacts and not some tacky dating project or covert money grabbing venture? If someone were to come up to me, and ask me if they could help me meet the right business contact would I take them seriously? How would I feel about them? Would I trust them to know what they were talking about?

I've come to realize that I know people. I mean, I know human nature. I've had the priviledge of meeting and watching people from different walks of life and different parts of the world and taken away a thing or two from each and every encounter. I trust people. I trust that people are inherently good, and can find themselves in situations that make them do terrible things. I have also found out that trust works, in that it multiplies and reproduces itself. I trust people to be as good to me as I am to them, therefore I am good to people. In essence, I have met a lot of good people, a lot of dependable trustworthy people that I can call on at any time. Now, this is necessary because you just never know where you will find yourself one day and be in need of a particular talent or skill. So I try my best to maintain the relationships we build, and try as much as I can to nurture it, and watch it grow and make it more fruitful by putting something into it. How I do this? Now, that's MY secret to success.

I don't know what your talent is, or how you can make it work for you, but I guarantee you it is something worth exploring. I know I still am, so help me God... I do what I do because I love to do it, not because of any earthly reward anybody could offer. IF and WHEN I find a way to capitalize on it, I sure will. Until then, I am enjoying doing what I like to do and seeing the results i.e. people being happy to have met that someone that pushed their business to the next level, or impacted their life in a positive way, or became a friend for life or even a treasured family member. My joy is in knowing that the potential for that particular relationship was fully explored and mutually beneficial, so I will continue to do what I do, and I pray you find and explore your own talent rather than live to help sustain/fulfil someone else's dream. I wish you all that you wish for yourself in life!

It's a new day, in a new week in a new month! Amazing... Being my birth month, I am of course partial and biased in saying it's the best month of the year. So much has happened in he past few months, both at home and around the globe. So many people wished they could see the light of day today, but they did not. Goodbye Gary Coleman, Dennis Hopper and Rue McClanahan. The idea of death and dying is so humbling, it really makes you think, and in the end you realize how very fickle your own existence is. We all are here by the special grace of God, and for that I am eternally grateful. I thank God that I lived to witness today, I thank God for the blessing of life, family, friends, love and most of all hope. Hope that tomorrow will always be better and brighter than today. Hope that no matter how bad things may seem right now, they will get better. Hope that there is a light at the end of each of life's tunnels, and hope that my life will be significant. Yes, a significant and meaningful life, so I can look back at the end of my days and say, I HAVE LIVED. I lived the life God intended for me, and I lived it to the utmost. Enjoy your week!