the timeframe between a problem and its solution, is equivalent to the distance between one's knees and the floor...

Have I mentioned before that I am number ONE at beating myself up? Believe me no-one does that better than I do! When it rains, it pours...it has been pouring merciless showers of bad encounter after bad encounter in my life and I am beginning to feel really sorry for myself.

I was having a less than average day to start with, and then someone I considered to be a good friend did some things to rile me up, and my day went from bad to worse. It was as if someone came at me with a sharp edged sword, thrust it in and twisted it over and over again. My chest felt tight, and and I could not breathe for about half a second. I physically felt my heart break, and the pieces scattered all around my stomach and upper ribcage. I could feel my ribcage caving into my back and generally felt weak, and sick to the core of my being. I felt betrayed, I felt exposed, and most of all, I felt discouraged. It just made me remember where I was two months ago, and how I felt about it. It was as if I was going through another break up. Right there and then, I knew this relationship had run its course. For that loss, I cried... I wept in my spirit till I could not bear it anymore, then I got down on my knees and prayed. I don't even know the exact words I prayed, I just got down there, and cried out to God in my Spirit...

I asked for Him to take away the hurt, the anger, the pain, and mend my broken heart, heal my wounded parts. I felt a lot better, and went back to my desk. Though the situation is unresolved, in my mind, it is done, FINISHED, over. It is well, time to move on. It came home to me more than ever that there is only so much love you can pour into a person, if they are not pouring back into you, you've just got to let go. There is only so much trust you can put in another human being, if it is not reciprocated, it's time to move on. You've got to make up your mind to BE happy, and work hard to STAY happy, regardless. For the sake of my peace of mind, I opt out of this friendship, I am definitely taking the highway, and I am looking to God for strength, and the staying power to get over even this. I am only now beginning to realize, just how resilient I am, actually. The things I think would break me, and I avoid doing, have 'happened to me', and I am here to tell the story. What makes me think I am weak, or fragile, or vulnerable? Nevertheless, NOT I, but Christ in me, my assurance of victory over tribulations and trials of this world. I am hanging on to my faith, clinging on to my hope, believing HIM for my testimony, ON MY KNEES!