Divine peace

Finding time to blog is getting increasingly difficult. Moreso because I have made up my mind to get off the internet by 11pm daily from now on. This whole internet social networking stuff can be addictive, and is seriously messing with my schedules both literally and metaphorically speaking.

I find myself sleeping at odd hours, waking up at the same time each morning though, and feeling so lethargic for the better part of the day. It is also preventing me from doing basic things like working out first thing in the mornings, and slowly eating into my meditation time as well. Now that, is a sign of impending danger, and I know it.

Yes, I am always out and about; always upbeat, and could wake up from deep slumber and be 'wide awake' and 'ready to party' in an instant, what really keeps me going, is the solid assurance that God is on my side, and His spirit is inside of me. When I can't/don't find the time to communicate with Him, I make decisions that impact negatively on my life, and have extremely dire consequences. A song comes to mind which says: 'in the calm if your presence, I am listening Lord, I am still, I am quiet, I am yours' That song speaks from my heart... It's in the quiet times, when you are really still and open, and receptive that you can hear God's voice properly.

I feel like I've been through a fire, and come out victorious. I also feel like I have been put through a coaching session for a specific test, and the test date suddenly got changed to an earlier date. I have been reading and meditating about a lot of issues lately, especially relational. I have listened to countless messages about this topic as well, and they have helped me through what promised to be a rough patch. Now when I think I am back on my feet, I suddenly find myself in a situation where it seems like all I have learnt so far is being put to test, and I just can't remember any of what I have learnt.

It's funny how just a few weeks back, I was convinced that there must have been something wrong with me for a relationship that lasted nearly two years to crumble around me. Now, I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is nothing wrong with me, there was something wrong with the situation, and even that, was not my fault. I was emotionally abused, yes, but I enabled that abuse, I allowed it. The real test, is in moving on from that, getting over it and keeping the memory as a valuable life lesson. I know I am no longer the person I was before I got deeply involved in that situation. I also know that I am no longer the person I was within that relationship. I am on my way back to me, it's alright, and I will eventually find my feet again. Until then, this young lady is enjoying being separate, unique and whole in God- a true single.

So, with all the up and down, here and there, my one true joy, is in being by myself, alone, with my God, in the comfort of my home, conversing with Him freely. Then, I am at peace, I am content, I am happy. I wish you the same!